you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
