I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
