Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
