Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
