if i can run in heels then i can drive
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
