Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
