Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
