I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
