I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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