nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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