Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
