did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
