I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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