Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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