Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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