it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
