You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
