No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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