I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
