i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
