hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
