Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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