You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Randomize
