i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i think i just lost a toe
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