i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
