you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize