when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize