He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
