Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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