i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think your dad took our porno
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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