I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
