Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize