somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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