I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
