so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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