mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
