Princesses don't give blow jobs
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We are two peas in an std pod
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
pray to the hookup gods
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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