he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
