Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize