i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
