even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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