I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize