You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
