By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
