That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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