these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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