Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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