So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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