so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This can only be settled by a dance off.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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