What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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