It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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