I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
