Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
