I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
