Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
