nut hugger
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
