i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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