I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
