You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize