Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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