how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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