On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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