Sponge bath it is.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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