My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
