We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize