if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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