Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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