We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
