hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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