I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
