are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
