It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
