i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
