Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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