Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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