i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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