Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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