i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
