Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
