Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
