i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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