I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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